The 3 Step Framework to Break Out of Social Awkwardness

I used to fear walking up to anyone, let alone hold a conversation.

It seemed every interaction I had fell flat in silence.

Worse yet, I'd be stuck in an awkward silence for what seemed like hours. Making friends seemed impossible for me.

It's the introverts biggest fear:

• Not knowing what to say next

• Wanting to start the conversation but can't

• Being stuck in an awkward conversation

The loop went on for years and years until I learned a simple framework to carry with me in every conversation I had.

Today, I can walk up to any stranger in any city and make friends with them. Over and over again.

I can speak on stages of hundreds or thousands of people for an entire hour without awkwardness.

Whether you're at a networking event, a party, or just looking for friends in your town, this framework will work wonders for anyone.

Like any good story, all you need is a structure.

The 3-Step Framework

Beginning, Middle, and End.

A strategy, I call it. One that works every single time without fail.

Here's the simple truth that everyone needs to understand.

Everyone is awkward.

Even if people are "natural social butterflies", we still had 2 years of lockdown.

Given this information, you can be calm knowing you're on the same playing field as everyone else.

So what does this mean?

• YOU have to be the prompter.

• YOU have to be the person to break the ice.

• YOU have to be the person to ask the questions.

We're no longer in a world where everyones charismatic and ready to make friends.

We're living a state of social anxiety.

Here's the three step framework for how to break out of this world of social awkwardness.

The Introduction (Beginning)

It's very simple. If you see the person you want to talk to, give yourself 10 seconds to do it.

If you give yourself over 10 seconds your brain starts to think of all the false non-sense:

• "They don't want to talk to me. They're busy"

• "They're gonna think I'm weird."

Trust yourself. They want to talk to you. They want to make friends.

Everybody does. It's one of the deepest human needs is real connection. And you're about to offer it to them!

Here's what to do. When you walk up, do one of two things.

1. Compliment something about them

2. Be transparent of your intention of wanting to meet different people

Next, ask for their name. This is the most simple segway into a real connection.

Sweet! Now that you've got their name and you've told them yours, It's time for the Middle.

The Story (The Middle)

Everyone loves to talk about themselves. Even you.

When you get to this point of the conversation, our first instinct is to talk about ourselves.

In this framework, it's the other way around.

You won't do yourself any good by talking about yourself. They don't care, yet.

You will get a lot further in the conversation and connection if you hear them out on what they have to say.

Let them pour their heart out to you while you simply....listen. Because it's such a rare gesture, they will appreciate your maturity and ability to communicate. They will go home saying "Wow, that person was so interesting!" Even if they only talked about themselves.

So how do we get them to pour their heart out? Once you get their name, ask one of these questions:

1. Where are you from?

2. What's your passion?

3. What do you do?

Once they answer, look interested! And I mean visually interested. They will feel enticed to tell you more.

Now it's time to ask follow-up questions to entice them to tell you their story.

1. Where are you from --> Them: "Seattle". You: "Wow. Seattle? What brought you here from Seattle, what's that story?"

Pay attention to that last line. "What's that story".

Your only objective here is to get them to tell you more about themselves.

When they tell you their story, pick apart things that stood out and ask more follow-up questions.

Now, they're loving you already! They haven't told these stories in years, maybe ever!

What's next?

The End (But really, it's only the beginning!)

So I call this the end just because it's the end of this moments conversation.

You will find out very soon that when you use this framework, you will have more friends that you ever had in your life.

People love people who are interested in them. It allows them to be interested in you! Funny how humans work.,

So how do we wrap up this conversation?

Simple. Tell them how great it was speaking to them and grab their Instagram Handle or Number.

I use this line every time.

"It was so good talking to you, You have such good energy. Let's stay connected for sure! Do you use Instagram or is phone better for you?"

Don't give them only one option. Give them an either-or.

80% of the time they will have and give you their instagram.

BAM! You just gained another follower and a friend.

But is that it? Is that really the end? Of course not. Here's the extra bonus of the framework ;)

The Follow-Up (Where the real connection happens)

You and your new connection aren't going to be best friends, business partners, or life partners after one conversation.

It all happens in the follow-up!

Here's my bonus follow-up framework.

About 4-5 hours after the first connection, I'll text them and let them know how much I enjoyed our conversation.

"Lisa, it was so good connecting today. Again, your energy is super contagious. Have a great day!"

They will respond with something nice, typically a "Likewise!" type of text.

Assuming you enjoyed the connection enough to want a second run, invite them for round 2.

This could be as simple as:

• An invite out for coffee for a deeper conversation

• An invite to a gathering you're putting together

• An invite to a casual brunch/lunch

If they were authentic in their enjoyment, they will join you for round 2 and it will solidify your relationship.

From there, the conversation is a lot more natural.

They're asking you questions, you're asking them questions.

This is where you get the real gauge on whether this is someone you want to keep within your inner circle.

Who you have in your inner circle determines the type of life you live, so make sure to take your time on this!

And if you want to join a circle of like-minded individuals just like you, check out the Truka Community and all we have to offer.